♥ 4 A Lifetime

“Any time you sincerely want to make a change, the first thing you must do is to raise your standards. When people ask me what really changed my life eight years ago, I tell them that absolutely the most important thing was changing what I demanded of myself. I wrote down all the things I would no longer accept in my life, all the things I would no longer tolerate, and all the things that I aspired to becoming. ”

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

killers.

tuesday was a long day for me.
8:30 i had an orientation which lasted about 2 hours... during the orientation traeh kept kicking and squirming around and hurting everything in between my legs including my thighs ahaha.
went straight to my NST appointment after and was on the monitor for more than an hour. apparently traeh kept moving around and his heart rate never like go down which concerned all the doctors and nurses. something about its supposed to be below 160 or average 160 but he was at 190+
so they sent me to L&D (labor & delivery) to be hooked up to the monitor longer. i snuck down to the cafeteria before i went there cuz i was starving to death. had a pizza and then went back to L&D. after i ate traeh just stop squirming around and his heart rate went down. im sure he was just hungry hahaha thats why.
but they still had me stay for an hour, gown on and everything.
i was falling asleep in that room.
called my cousin and mom dem and my mom was getting all excited and kept saying she was gonna come down and i kept telling her no need cuz theyre just monitoring and they havent checked if i dilated or not.
after the L&D i went up to kimotos office. he wasnt even in cuz he was delivering a baby so i was waiting in there for almost ever!
when he finally seen me he checked and im 2 cm dilated.
he said if traehs heart rate keeps jumping up and down then hes gonna induce me early.
or if i dont give birth by the 4th im scheduled to come in on the 10th (moms bday) to induce my labor.
i hope i dont have to wait that long.

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Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie

Baby Boy

"When you in love with a man, he can make you feel high. so high you just be in outer space. but a man can also make you feel low. real low. and he can keep you there. keep you down. if you let him. dont even worry about feeling used. it's just temporary everyone gets used. men use women, women use men. just face the fact that you're going to be used. but if you feel so used, you aint got nothing left... it the man aint giving you the energy you need to love his ass... even when he's acting like a bastard, you need to let it go. if you aint got nothing to give yourself, or your baby...
you wont have it to give it to him."