♥ 4 A Lifetime

“Any time you sincerely want to make a change, the first thing you must do is to raise your standards. When people ask me what really changed my life eight years ago, I tell them that absolutely the most important thing was changing what I demanded of myself. I wrote down all the things I would no longer accept in my life, all the things I would no longer tolerate, and all the things that I aspired to becoming. ”

Monday, June 22, 2009

FML- venting

i dont even know where to start. this is so annoying

so me & norman came home last night after a long weekend at my moms house.
when we got home the room was different. our bedsheets were changed and the fob curtains were up again. so i lay on the bed cuz my body was so tired, and the fucken pillows and my banana republic blanket had that old filipino nana tata smell mixed with bbq smoke and my blanket felt sticky. UGH! i was so pissed, obviously someone was sleeping in here while we were gone.
i noticed my lotions and makeup was all over the tv area and lotion was splattered on the tv so i got up and cleaned it up, finding out my conditioner was missing, my cotton balls were used and my new qtip box was opened. i found the conditioner in the bathroom HALF EMPTY ALREADY and my lotion a quarter empty. WTF!!????
i look under the tv and most of "MY" dvds like the disney & pixar dvds are missing, the ones my dad brought over are missing, well it just looks like half the dvd collection we had are just gone.

i open my mini fridge and for some reason my 2 litter sodas somehow evaporated? i like how they drink um till its till the very end where its not even a cup fillable, and just put um back so they no need throw away the bottle, leave me to throw it away. fuck. my hawaiian sun and all the can juices i had under the fridge magically dissapeared. all thats left is the dam plastic soda holder rings, foreals WTF.

da dam closet is filled again with clothes that dont belong to either norman or me. i swear. no respect for our personal things shit, and they use our room like its there storage or something, there fckn boxes from phillipines are all on the floor of the closets like wtf again. i swear, there room is so empty they just like put all there junk in here to make there room look nice or something. fuck!

so norman told the mom to clean out all there crap from our closet and not to use my stuff. cuz they didnt even ask. all my snacks and drinks shit. its like i bought those for nothing if i only gon starve myself again cuz norman knows i dont like to go outside when theyre around or use the kitchen or use there fridge. das why i bought my OWN things. but nooooooo.....
plus his dam sister goes and takes my twilight books. oh hell no. gahhhhh damm i have so much on my mind right now i cant even concentrate. my fingers are about to break this dam keyboard already typing so frantically.

i swear. im gonna go nuts living with them again.
this morning idk for what reason, but his dam mom keeps peaking in the room opening and closing the door. like omg. take a pic itll last longer. its not like the room is gonna change or something, itll still look the same the next time she opens the door. dam. so annoying.
i aint goin no where so idk if shes tryna open the door to see if im in here so she can take something or stuff something in the closet again like shes been doing while we were gone.
idk.
fuck
i hope norman has the key to the room cuz im fucken locking it everytime i step out of this house.

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Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie

Baby Boy

"When you in love with a man, he can make you feel high. so high you just be in outer space. but a man can also make you feel low. real low. and he can keep you there. keep you down. if you let him. dont even worry about feeling used. it's just temporary everyone gets used. men use women, women use men. just face the fact that you're going to be used. but if you feel so used, you aint got nothing left... it the man aint giving you the energy you need to love his ass... even when he's acting like a bastard, you need to let it go. if you aint got nothing to give yourself, or your baby...
you wont have it to give it to him."